Why do we hold onto things that are unhealthy for us?

After what was almost a year of a rough break up, it's say to safe I have become an expert in heart ache. And it's not a good field to be an expert in.

Without sounding like a whiney teen, break ups are and always will be hard - no matter the situation.

A recent debate I have been having with myself is whether or not falling out of love is as easy as falling in it. After what seemed like hours of twiddling my thumbs I decided to stop convincing myself that falling out of love happens. What does happen, however, is how we cope to adapting to our lives when that certain someone that was always present is now absent.

I used to never believe in love. More importantly, I could never see the point in it. It was only for fools. Until I became one myself.

First of all I want to congratulate my ex for ever dating a head case like me. I am difficult person to love and that's a fact. I believe most hormonal 17 year old girls are. But this wasn't like any other teenage relationship I've personally come into contact with. He was my second ever boyfriend and we were horrible for each other for a number of reasons. The most evident two being we were much too alike and stubborn and that we were both in different stages of our lives. And we were so incredibly young.

But I couldn't tell you enough how painfully long it took me to recognise this. And even once I had, I continued to convince myself that we would work out soon.

Ladies, if your relationship hasn't worked out for the fifth time, I guarantee you it probably never will. Don't take me for a pessimist here but after months of tears and tantrums I could honestly bet my life on this.

It took me a really REALLY long time to pull myself from this relationship. And there were times that even once I had, I found myself travelling back to it - late night phone calls, surprise night visits, after school dates etc. But now, I ask you all and I ask myself, why we are SO intent on hurting ourselves for the ones we supposedly love.

Love yourself more. Ofcourse there are times where I still find myself hoping the private number calling is him and I still catch myself hoping he'll be standing at my bus stop but I have decided to put myself first. It is okay to care but care for yourself more. You'll always be there, your dysfunctional relationship that is only right now won't.

- L

Sharing my undying love for Rachel Rutt

Artists

It honestly feels like days since I've slept properly. If I'm not up half the night annotating inspiration pages, I'm drawing ridiculous amounts of fruit that I've bought solely to sketch.
But I guess that is what I get for choosing to be an art kid.

I think society as a whole generally downgrades art for what it really is. In all my schooling, my art subjects have been by far the most time consuming and difficult. Now I'm no maths or science whiz so I can't claim that they are easier but they sure do take less practical effort.

After this year I hope to get into Visual Merchandising as a course (wish me luck) but the amount of work I've undertaken in this year alone really concerns me. It has just shown me how little we appreciate the work of artists. There is no such thing as just putting paint to canvas. There is so much more effort behind a spectacular art piece that we as viewers couldn't possibly understand.

So now not only do I respect the talents of the artists of today but also their hard work and perseverance through the annoying and tedious explorations necessary before the final outcome.

- L

New York, New York

It has been a few weeks since I've been back from New York and, let me tell you, I miss it incredibly - much more than I ever expected to. When I was walking down fifth avenue, it finally occurred to me why I was so fascinated by travel. It allowed me to find my lost self in a busy street full of people knowing EXACTLY where they were heading. Models, script writers, artists all walked past me in a rush and I stood there in awe of their sense of self. I could only hope that I'd have this sort of known identity by this time next year. When I was in New York, my whole world stopped. Every problem or worry had been left in Melbourne waiting my return. My heart fell in love with an entirely different place and it upset me that I had to leave it. It made me wonder how often this happened to people and how often people were dragged away from places they absolutely adored by a plane ticket. It hadn't hit me how deeply I fell in love with the most popular city in the world until I came home. It was a bit like a break up where you don't realize your true feelings until they are, well, gone.

If I developed anything from this trip it was an immense growth in my eagerness to grow up. I cannot wait to not be seventeen years old anymore so I can discover and explore the true beauty of this world. It is moments like these that allow us to take a step back and be thankful for waking up with breath in the morning and walking with working feet. A feel-good moment.

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." - St. Augustine

Hurrah! After copious attempts of working this thing I am finally a proud owner of my very own fashion blog. Welcome to The Hypnos Kid!